Thursday, April 3, 2014

By far the scariest day of my life! (Updated Version)

I know there's lots of our friends and family who have lots of questions about what happened with us during the tragic events of the Fort Hood shooting yesterday. I figured this is the easiest way to share our family's story.

First of all, our hearts and prayers are with all of the victims and their families as well as everyone else effected by the horrific scene on post yesterday.

I am certain there are several families out there with similar or more intense stories to tell about their experiences yesterday. This is ours:

No, we don't live on post. My husband works on post. He is actually a doctor at the post hospital.

It all started with a Facebook update I got, a notification from a group I am in. It said something to the effect of "Active shooter at Ft. Hood, whole post on lockdown, shooting began near medical building."

Medical building? Does that mean the hospital? Oh my gosh, what is going on?!!? I immediately text my husband saying "I need to know that you're ok...saw something about active shooter. Please let me know you're ok." He sometimes doesn't get to respond to messages, but I had to KNOW what was going on. I don't really know how I even got that out because my hand was literally shaking SO hard that my screen was hard to read.

A bit before this, on his end, he heard the "Mass Cal...not a drill" announcement at the hospital. He immediately texted me "Hey something's happened. I'm ok. Have no clue how late I will be". I never got this text. The hospital has terrible reception and this happens often. C (my husband) and his colleagues took direction from doctors who sadly had been through this before, only 4 and a half years ago. The clinic C works in quickly became full of patients from the ED (Emergency Dept) as it was cleared out for triage for the wounded coming in.

Back at our new house, we had the ADT guy here hooking up our new system. Both of our kids, 3 and 1, were awake from their naps. Poor ADT guy was trying to get me to sit down to go through details of our system. I looked at him and said "Look, something's happened on post, where my husband works. I can't do anything till I know he's ok." He was very understanding as I flipped on the TV to a local news channel who was covering it all live. I remember just praying and praying-God help him be ok, he has to be ok! But trying to keep it together for my babies and since the ADT guy was still here.

My sweet SIL (sister in law) texted me about this time saying "saw on news active shooter at ft. hood, don't know what's going on, hope yall are safe. Praying everyone is safe. We love you." I got tears in my eyes as I responded to her "I don't know much either. Haven't heard from C (my husband). Freaking out! PRAYERS needed!" Remember the screen shaking a bunch then too!

I thought, oh my goodness...this can't be happening. I needed to know that C and other friends were ok. I texted three other doctors' wives to see if they knew anything, anymore than me. Two of them didn't know anything was going on yet...sorry if I scared you friends!

News station was reporting that post was on lockdown. Information and details about the situation were hard to come by since for awhile no one was allowed on or off base, and afterward only essential personnel were. Military personnel as well as families living on base heard the "big voice" saying "Shelter in place. Stay away from windows and doors..." Someone on post recorded it on their phone and sent it to the news station. They were saying there were possibly two shooters and they were still at large.

About 20 minutes after I knew what was going on I FINALLY received word from C that he was ok! His text said "I'm safe. Helping wounded but safe". Thank you LORD! Ok those prayers answered, but was it over? They said still at large. The news then reported that a nearby community college was being evacuated. I think ahhh does that mean the shooters gotten off post? Are we safe here? Can't believe this is happening! Can NOT believe it!

Heard from a friend (another wife I contacted earlier) that she had heard from her husband and he was ok. Told her I finally got the word C was too. I texted another friend, who hadn't heard yet. We were all just SO shocked! And kept saying ok we will keep in touch if we get more updates. Praying it's over and no one else is hurt!

Many of the doctors and nurses at the hospital didn't know what was going on or if it was over, but they immediately jumped into action to help the wounded. So proud of the team at the post hospital! C saw most of the victims from afar and treated two of the wounded soldiers. One was a gunshot wound, one was shattered glass resulting from a bullet hitting the windshield of his car. Now that more information has been released by officials of the investigation, I can share a bit more of what I knew that night. One soldier seemed to know the sequence of events and what caused the shooter to "lose it". The shooter apparently didn't like what he was told about a leave form. He left and returned soon to open fire on them.

C's mom called~she saw on the news what was going on and of course wanted to know what I knew. Told her I had heard from him and that he was safe and taking care of wounded. She of course had a ton of questions that I couldn't answer. I could tell she was almost in tears and scared to death as was I. I held it together until we got off the phone.

Finally got ADT guy to leave...bless his heart, I have NO idea what he told me about our new system. After he left, for some reason, I just felt so unsafe. I locked all the doors, turned on ADT system (good thing it was similar to the one in our old house), and got my babies and kinda just lost it. I will NEVER forget sitting on the kitchen floor, in front of the pantry door, with both of them in my lap, tears pouring down my face. My 3YO looked at me and said momma ok? I said "well, baby, something really scary has happened at Daddy's work. We know Daddy is ok and his friends are ok, but he has to help some people that are hurt" Then we prayed and prayed. We still hadn't heard much about the situation~last I heard shooter or shooters still at large, no confirmed number of casualties.

Then my mom called...still in tears I talked to her, explaining what I knew. Felt so helpless. It was so good to hear her voice telling me it was ok, we were ok. Sometimes you just need your momma! I remember getting off the phone with her and thinking wow, our street is dead. We live in a neighborhood with several other military families. Our street is usually buzzing with the sounds of cars coming and going from post as people return to their homes for the nights or head into their shifts. But there was an eerie quiet tonight.

Texts and calls from great friends and family began pouring in~wondering if this is where we were? Were we ok? Was C ok? Did we live on post? Did we know anymore than what little was being leaked out into media? It became a lot to deal with. Yes, it was so wonderful to know we were in all your thoughts and prayers, I apologize if I was short with any of you. I didn't mean to be, just dealing with a lot.

Heard from C again, this time he said "I'm ok. Lots of wounded. Can't talk more. No idea how much longer I will be. Love you". About this time, they announced unconfirmed that one shooter was dead by self-inflicted gunshot to the head. Still speculation of second shooter at large. Someone hunkered down in a building on post near a lot of the action (who probably got into a lot of trouble afterward), called in to the local news station and  told everyone what was going on around him. He described seeing several soldiers, some civilians and even a few young children being escorted out of a building. He said it looked like they were maybe searching them. Can't imagine how horrifying that would be for those people, especially those children. The media hasn't said much about this. I still don't know what it was all about. Don't know if I ever will. Still shocked by all of this and wondering when it would end!

Finally it came over the news that the now sole shooter was confirmed dead. Oh thank you Lord that no one else was hurt and that everyone was safe. But really everyone wasn't safe. There were three soldiers who lost their lives. Lost their lives at their home post, during a typical day. There are 16 other soldiers injured, some in critical condition. Injured by a fellow a soldier, one of their own. There are over 60,000 troops stationed at Ft. Hood, add about 40,000 family members and vets to that and you get a good sized town. Everyone who has a connection to Fort Hood, whether small or large, was effected. Our lives are forever changed.

There were SO many speculations being made. SO many conclusions being jumped to. The media didn't know how to make sense of it, much like all of us. National news stations were speculating about Fort Hood being some kind of target for terrorist groups, etc. People were grasping at straws. It seemed everyone was shell-shocked. How could this happen? How could this happen here again? Why did he do this? Was it pre-meditated? Was it connected to terrorism? How could this happen? Press conferences were announced but delayed.

Around 20:30 (8:30 PM for all my non-military people), got an update from C. He thought they were finishing things up at the hospital but post was still on lockdown so didn't know how much longer he'd be. I responded to him and told him how much I loved him, that I would keep kids up till he got home if I could, figured he'd want to hug them!

Tried updating everyone that was texting/calling me with questions about what I knew and what C had just told me. Heard on news that lockdown was officially lifted and cameras showed vehicles slowly trickling back through the gates. That was a wonderful scene! Reports were coming in of victims: 3 dead, 16 injured.

At the hospital, Lt. General Milley came in to get updates on all victims conditions. C said that was intimidating. He gave him updates and was impressed at the way Lt. General Milley talked with the soldiers, showing his true compassion for them. At the risk of over-sharing, I will not go into more details about what C saw.

C finally made it home around 22:00 (10:00 PM). I met him on the porch and hugged him so tight and lost it again!!! I was SO thankful he made it home to us! We embraced on the porch for a couple minutes before the kids and the dog were out in the driveway wanting to play.

I am SO proud of C, always have been. I am SO proud to be a part of the post hospital family. I am SO proud of the medical personnel at the hospital who stepped up to help in the midst of chaos! I'm SO proud that Lt. General Milley commended the medical professionals at the hospital for their job well done! I am SO proud to be a part of the Army family!

The events that took place on Fort Hood yesterday were horrifying and terrible. Our hearts are heavy for our fallen soldiers and their families. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the injured victims and their families. Everyone who was effected by the tragedy yesterday are in our thoughts and prayers. You've all heard several people, President Obama, Texas Senators, Lt. General Milley say it: Fort Hood is a strong community, a resilient community. They have seen tragedy in the past and have overcome it. They will be strong and rally around each other to get through this too. They are Army Strong.


(I love this photo. It was taken at the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor. I love the way the sun is shining over the flag. It reminds me of The National Anthem's lines "...and the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there! Oh say does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave o'er the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave!")

1 comment:

  1. I'm so happy y'all are safe! I was praying like crazy for you! I love you so much and will be following your blog overseas for sure!

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